The root of the problem was that my parents were too strict, and... I found someone after that.... that..... tenth circle of hell. That person left,
and.. returned...but she doesn't treat me like a best friend anymore. She treats me like someone who she's forced to be around with, because she knows that if she's not around..
I...I... will do very, very bad things to myself.
But we don't even talk as often as we did before, and the warmth that was in our conversations in the past is gone.
So... my final light is gone. Forever.
To clarify,lasttime... we used to talk the whole day. And even if i felt sad .. orjust a little down, she would warm me up and scold me for keeping things from her. Nowwe talk like five times a month, and she either doesn't reply or... says stuff and talks unenthusiastically and says " sorry, i'm out now. chat later." "Sorry.. cant talk now.. bout to sleep. bye. "
Now.. she doesnt even show emotion when we chat. It's like she's not invested in it anymore.
From best, best friends to that and stuff like this: If I'm feeling down, she tells me to talk to the counselor ( Didn't work and they just wanted my money ) . But she didn't offer to listen or offer compassion anymore.
What I lost, was alot. Especially for someone with strict parents like mine, meeting her was like a godsend. Losing her... was like.... the last lantern burning out, leaving me in deep, inexorable darkness.
I can't see a tomorrow.
Btw, one more thing.. when we message each other..
I am the one who messages her first. She never messages me first.
Now tell me.. is there hope?
I've tried meeting other people, but it didn't work out. I have tried my very, very,very best. I got made use of for money. So... yeah. One got a free lunch off me, the other one just wanted a free movie, and the second one was a hardcore drinker who cares about his own image and "fabulousnenss " more than anything else.