[hocus pocus]

You said the goal wasn’t to hurt yourself, but to get the urge to go away because it felt really intense. I think that anything you do to harm yourself is self-harm even if you aren’t completely aware that you’re doing it (e.g. self-harm in a dissociative state). It is positive that it made the urge go away but unfortunate that it made marks, even though those marks are what feel calming.

Have you tried drawing fake cuts on your skin with red marker? You don’t feel pain, nor will you scratch yourself but you will be able to see the marks in the red color that they would have been if you harmed yourself. Some people greatly benefit from occasionally emulating blood in their recovery.

While it may not be self-harm the first time around, it may be considered self-harm the second time around if you to it specifically to get those marks. Even though you don’t see those marks as a big deal, people do scratch themselves as a form of self-harm and you are harming your body by doing that to yourself.

Know that what is considered self-harm can sometimes be subjective so when in doubt, you can always think it through and make a decision on your own if you don’t feel like the advice you’ve been given fully relates to your particular situation and experience.