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Re: Screaming thread. -
November 10th 2017, 01:12 PM
“I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed”
As a kid, I thought that line was so stupid; now I get it. I held onto my first kiss for 19 years, I was content holding onto it for longer, but then he came into my life and all my plans changed. I remember crying after he kissed me, I knew I should be excited, but I was hurting. I cried a lot due to our physical relationship. Why did that not send up red flags sooner? I loved his personality, his mind, his words, but I wasn’t prepared for a physical relationship like he wanted. The first kiss pulled me in too deep to walk away, even though I knew I should. So many kisses followed and I hate myself for not stopping them. I convinced myself I wanted a somewhat physical relationship, but I knew that that wasn’t really true. I let him go further than I wanted, I stopped saying “no.” It isn’t his fault if I stopped saying no, so this all falls back on me.
I didn’t really want you to kiss me that night, but I acted like I was excited. I’m so sorry.
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