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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
October 29th 2017, 04:21 PM
It still matters because it still hurts; it still hurts because it still scares me. You promised me when I was little that you’d protect me from all the monsters, and now I’m left wondering if that truly only meant the ones under my bed. It’s been four years since he hit me, I get that everyone else would be over it. But it took me three years to ever say anything about it and it hurts so much that our brother is friends with him. And last night I had to see him, and I told our sister what happened and why I needed to leave. But we couldn’t leave yet and my skin crawls just seeing him. Both of our brothers were there, but I still felt unsafe. Last time I was by him, I had J. But we broke up and he hurt me too.
Is there just something about me that makes me easy to hurt? Easy to manipulate? The three men I’ve pursued in the past six years have all manipulated me to some extent. D was the worst, and he’s the one I had to see. M began using manipulation after I ended everything. And J? Maybe he was the worst because he’s the only one I fell in love with so I dealt with shit so much longer than I should have. I’m swearing off dating for awhile, I obviously don’t know how to do it.
You’re my sister, and all I want is for you to care about me. I know you do, I know you were tired last night, but that comment still hurt. It still matters because it still hurts me, and that should be a good enough reason.
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