I recommend you avoid seeing him again, especially if that's what your gut is telling you. Intuition is a strong thing, and you could only be giving him the opportunity to hurt you again, possibly even worse. I think it would be smart to try and break it off another way. If you're in counseling I would recommend asking your therapist for suggestions. I don't feel comfortable advising something in this situation since I don't have enough information and I don't feel qualified. Hopefully your therapist is someone you're comfortable with that you can trust with this matter.

I understand it's hard to know what to work on. I would say sit down and make a list of the best life you could possibly lead for yourself (that's reasonably attainable). Once you make those goals, write down the steps you need to take in order to achieve them. Break the steps down as small as your possibly can, and then set yourself on a path to attain those goals. You can give yourself a timeline if you want, but remember that life happens and you may have to stray from it, so try not to be too hard on yourself if you do. The point is to feel like you're making progress and that you have a sense of purpose.

I would also suggest making a list about yourself. What do you like about yourself? What don't you like? What would you like to change about yourself? What resources can you access to make those changes happen? Do you need to talk about it in counseling? Do you need to work on having a different group of friends? Things like that.

And, finally, I would suggest making those standards for yourself, especially when it comes to boundaries. When someone has been abused it's often difficult to set healthy boundaries, so you're not alone in that. I suggest making a venn diagram and throwing out ideas: what boundaries do you need to set for yourself, what boundaries do you need to set for others, and where do they overlap? Overlapping is the zone where it's more fluid but the farther out you get from the center the more solid the boundaries need to be. Think about what feels good to you now, but also what you think might be a good addition.

A foundation for a healthy relationship is based on mutual acceptance and respect. Try and view it as though you and your partner are on the same team. You want to treat your teammate well and you want to work together, even when there's conflict. Though each of you are bound to hurt one another at some point, you try not to forget which team your on. And, because you're on a team, you can work on intimacy and meeting the goals you both have for yourselves and each other.

Working on oneself means different things to different people. To me, it's empowering myself and working to be the best me I can be. You may need to find your own definition. But I want to stress that you are never not a whole person. It can definitely feel that way, but you're still you. You don't have to let your abusers steal that from you.