[Jess~]

I think we've all heard that phrase quite a few times before, probably even said it several times as well. I know I have.

But what does it really mean to "work on yourself"? I imagine we all have our own little definition of that, and I'd like to hear yours because at this point, I don't know where else I should go with myself.


I was in therapy from October 2016 - June 2017. Through that, I was able to heal a lot from the stuff I was put through. I learned how to take on a new perspective for life, and I definitely have a much stronger, more solid mindset and outlook on my life now. I was trying to get my crap together all summer, and now I finally have a job, am taking college classes, have a solid group of friends and acquaintances, and I love every minute of those three things. I'm okay now, honestly.
There were some big things that happened, and those have been setbacks. Specifically about relationships, and for some reason I have literally always ended up with a horrible guy. There is seriously not a single instance where I didn't end up hurt and betrayed.
There was definitely a time where I sought out the wrong kind of attention, and got myself in dramatic situations with friends-with-benefits and awful, stressful, devastating "no-label relationships". But through therapy, I learned I was only hurting myself from letting myself get into those types of situations, and that I needed to establish boundaries upfront in order to find a good guy.
I did that, and I still got hurt. Not just emotionally, but physically. I thought I was going to be killed. Even when I tried to find someone who wouldn't hurt and betray me, it happened yet again. It's getting to the point where it's almost comical. Like this is some sort of demented, macabre sitcom where they want to see just how much trauma a person can go through. Actually, I take that back. It's not even some kind of messed up, "funny" coincidence. It's like a joke that has been played out for so long it's not even funny anymore. People are tired of it, wondering when it's going to be over, because the joke is just annoying now.
So now I feel like, in a sense, I need to go back to the drawing board. Start from scratch. Develop something...

But I just don't know what.
Or where to start.


So let's talk! What are some things that you tend to work through, think about, and try to improve on when you just need to work on yourself?
Any advice on what I should do too?