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Name: jess
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 889
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Join Date: November 26th 2012

How to tell my parents? - September 1st 2017, 06:40 PM

I've never actually had a serious boyfriend so I'm completely lost when it comes to this shit.

I started dating my boyfriend last Saturday and when he drove me home from our date, it was around 2-3 in the morning. I had texted my brother to find out if my parents were sleeping, so I knew if we'd be safe or not.
My brother said they were sleeping, so I thought it'd be okay. Nevertheless, I had my bf park a little bit behind our driveway, where our two cars are parked. In hindsight I should've had him park a few houses down instead.

So he kissed me goodnight which is a cute term for full on making out. Then I got out and started walking up to my house. While I was walking, I saw my dad's forehead just above the gate to our backyard, where he often goes out at night to have a cigarette. (I didn't know he went out THAT late but you learn something new everyday.)
I immediately knew he must've been spying on me and was trying to hide so I didn't see him when I walked past the gate. As I was walking past he sat down in a chair and I could see his phone light from off the wall.
To make matters worse, as I was unlocking my front door, my bf made a u-turn and drove past again to wolf whistle, which my dad definitely heard.

I've been trying to think of any other reason he could've been bent down below the gate like that. We have dogs, so there's a slight possibility he could've been petting them, or maybe looking at something on the ground or something.

I also went outside the next day to try and see how good a view he had, and I'm not sure if the two cars in the driveway blocked his view of us. Maybe he just saw the van?


IDK but all the next day I hid away in my room. I didn't even come out to eat I was so scared. My mom did come in once in the morning, and she was acting really awkward and concerned. She kept asking questions about how late I got home last night and what movies we saw (I only got home late because we went to a drive-in theater.)


I mean, maybe they don't know anything. Maybe my dad really was just bending over to pet the dogs and maybe my mom really was just surprised I got home so late. I could just be looking harder for things that make it seem like they know, right?

I think the more likely story, knowing my luck, is that my dad did see and that he did tell my mom, and now they both know and won't confront me about it.
I'm going out with him again tomorrow, but I just know when I tell them I'm "going out with friends", there will be some kind of passive-aggressive comments or something. I just really don't want to deal with this bullshit right now. I prefer to keep my home life separate from my social life because I'm two different people around my family and my friends. My parents found that out once when they went through my phone and found inappropriate texts to an ex-boyfriend, cussing, pictures of me giving the middle finger... just classic edgy teenager shit. They were dumbfounded that their "goody-two-shoes little christian daughter" could possibly act differently out in public.
But tomorrow I'm meeting my boyfriend's family, and he's been asking to meet mine for awhile too. (Even before we started dating.)
So I know that they're going to have to meet eventually, and sooner would be better than later, I'm afraid.

How do I do this? I mean, if they already know, telling them about it might blow up in my face. They'll get mad that I "lied" and "went behind their backs" again. I was thinking of telling them something like, "I didn't want to tell you until we were officially together, but I have a boyfriend now and he wants to meet you guys." My boyfriend said I should even mention that "I know you saw us together already that one night" but idk if I should bring that up again. It honestly disgusts me to think that during a personal moment like that my dad was watching the whole thing.

But I literally never talk to them about my life. I try to. I'll tell my mom stuff about my friends. Never really my dad because he never asks about anything so I've always just assumed he doesn't care, though I know that's probably not the case. I think they just have different mindsets about it, my dad wasn't too close to his family growing up and my mom was.
It still hurts me though, that I talked to my mom about the rape shit and never had a conversation with my dad about it. I don't want to be walking on eggshells about yet another subject of my life.


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
haunted by the ghost of you