[Starseeker]

I've got so much to tell you, but I can't, because I don't want to annoy you. I can see you don't want to bring that up... the question is - why...?
I'd like to ask you if you felt anything at any time. Or maybe you were just playing? Was it fun for you? I don't wanna think that. I wanna believe that you told me the truth, but I've got a few reasons to think it wasn't entirely the truth. Maybe it was just a lie. I don't know. I probably won't know.
Then... you'll find someone in a matter of weeks. Maybe months. Will you tell them all the things you told me? Including those words that made me sad, sick, deeper into depression?
I'm sometimes told I'm pretty. Very well. I'm not extremely ugly. But in my new school and environment there are going to be HUNDREDS of girls that are smarter, more outgoing, more interesting and have a similar or better body than I do. And... well, they don't cut. They're not depressed. Who'd like a depressed girl? It must've put you away, you convinced me otherwise, but it's hard for me to believe that.
And yes, I was skeptical at the beginning. Remember what I asked you on that Friday? Maybe Saturday... it doesn't matter. You remember that for sure, you seemed insulted after that question. With all you said and all you did I gradually started to believe it may all actually work out.
To cut a long story short - I fucking engaged in it with all my heart.
That's when you decided it was wrong. It was on the night when I made a wish about us to a shooting star. Fucking irony.
And you left me here, alone, with all the challenges I will have to face in September and following months. Should I blame you? Maybe I should blame myself? Or maybe the stars, the gods, whatever is up there?
Perhaps I'll never know...