[Skyline]

Dear R.

I know that I've already brought up with you the issue of text messaging and the fact that it bothers me that you tend not to respond to my messages, and I know that messaging just tends to be awkward for you and that you say you never know how to respond so you just end up giving up, and I understand to some extent where you're coming from... but I think we need to talk about this again.

See, when I last brought it up I downplayed it a lot and spoke about it on a very light note because I didn't want to seem accusatory or dramatic or over-demanding; I just wanted to talk about it in a very gentle, non-judgemental way. You explained to me why you do this and it was very reassuring to hear you acknowledge that you do this, but apparently you aren't making any more efforts. Now you're overseas in England so we can no longer phone each other (which is your prefered way to communicate), and when we last spoke you specifically said that we would stay in touch over facebook, even when I teasingly said "yeah right".

Honestly? I'm sitting in front of my phone right now and after seeing that you read my facebook message from three days ago over an hour ago and that you haven't responded, it's literally making me feel light-headed, tearful and almost nauseous. I know that this is super extreme and I don't know how I would respond to this information if I were in your position, but I deeply, deeply need you to take this seriously, because even though I know logically that my brain is over-dramatising the situation, it doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do, no matter how much sense I try to talk into myself and no matter how many excuses I make for you.

When you don't respond to my messages, it makes me feel as if you're not bothered to be in communication with me and therefore that you're not bothered to feel "together" with me. This is because when I send you a message telling you about something funny or shocking that happened to me today or asking how your holidays are going, it really hasn't got much to do with the content and subject of my message because it's really just a pretext to communicate with you about something, anything. Think of it as me inviting you to make a connection with me; when you see and don't respond to my message, it's as if you've seen my hand stretched out to you and you decide not to take it. That's how it feels. Like indifference, or even rejection.

I feel hurt that despite me bringing it up and making it clear to you that your not-responding affects me at least somewhat negatively (though I admit i didn't specify to what extent), you continue to not answer my messages.

It's very hard for me to bring this up and insist that you take this seriously because it's seemingly such a small thing, but I hope that if or when I do you will be considerate and attentive. Honestly I don't know what to feel.