[Kate*]

Can't tell you how much I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS and I'm going to be exhausted and possibly sick. Fucking awesome.

If you're going to answer my question, answer the one I ASKED! I put that in as a comparison to prove my point, the question is about something completely different, UGH

That was a mix of helpful and completely pointless. And I REALLY hope that doesn't become an issue.

There is NO part of me that wants to do this. Unless I want it, or need it to do what I want, every bit of something is torture.

This is not a pity party, it's a fucking nightmare and I can't do it anymore.

You broke me, destroyed my life, ruined my reputation for NO reason other than my disability, and were completely wrong about absolutely everything. And the fact that no one has ever heard of this happening means I'll wonder for God knows how long, if it was actually my fault.

I HATE being torn about this. I know if I don't do it, I'll have no life, but how much worse is that than having a life I don't want?! Thank God I didn't do this in the beginning, it would've been too much.
I don't know if nothing else will feel right or if it's really wrong.