[Kate*]

Hey there and welcome Sorry to hear you've had a rough couple of years. I think the best thing you can do is take some time off and consider professional help, if you aren't getting it already. If you're hating yourself and having anxiety attacks then I think it's worth it. College will always be there, but you can't get what you want or need out of it if you're struggling like this. If people in your life question what you're doing, decide on a limited amount of time (a semester or year) and say that you have some things you need to sort out before you go back and you want to make sure you're there for the right reasons. Once you're feeling better and have a better idea of what you really want, you can decide whether or not you want to go back. You could also see someone through your school, which would be a lot cheaper, but probably less accessible and you probably have to be actively enrolled for that to be an option.