[Everglow.]

I wish I could really talk to you. I look at pictures of you, just ones where you're being yourself, not posing or smiling specifically for the camera, and then I remember that you're not here anymore. I'll never hear your voice, you'll never be able to hug me again. A has moved out and some new people are living in your flat and I can never go back there and see your desk and ornaments and the pictures you had, and we'll never spend Christmas walking down to see the lights, or go to the park and watch my brother dance with your walking stick. I'll never hear you say how happy you are that 'my hollie' is there to see you. I'll never hear you say you love me millions or have a birthday card made specifically for me again.
I miss you so so much nana. I love you. God. I wish you were here to see me graduate next month. I wish you were here full stop.
I hate that you're gone.