[Storyteller.]

Yoshi, here's the thing. You've posted many threads recently (e.g. here, here, here, and here) in which you expressed feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, and loneliness. This thread doesn't mention anything new, which means that you're going to get the same responses. Have you noticed how the same few people reply to most of your threads? That's because we want to help, but we can't if you don't work with us. Since you didn't bring up any new points this thread, I'd recommend looking through previous threads that gave you advice on how to deal with all of these feelings. Another thing I'd recommend is to make use of your blog - that way you can express all of these feelings and work through your thoughts without having to worry about how people are going to respond or feeling obligated to reply to those responses. Your blog can be a private place for you to write about what's going on for you, without people trying to give advice.

But since you posted here, in D&S, I'll focus on advice anyway. What, exactly, have you tried to cheer yourself up? You said you like coffee and nice food, so that's a start. Could you maybe go out somewhere in your town/city and get yourself a nice cup of coffee or a meal? Sometimes getting out of the house and interacting with people (even if it's only superficial chit-chat with servers) can help lift your mood. Putting aside the issue of the girl whom you seem to think had solved all your problems, what do you want in life? What are your goals, dreams, aspirations? What can you do now to set yourself on a path to achieving them? Don't think about the obstacles right now, think about how much you want these things and what you can do to get them. If you can't come up with any dreams right off the bat, then spend a little time considering it. Think about what you wanted when you were younger, and the way you imagined your life would be. Your dreams don't have to be specific, either; a desire to be happy is just as valid as an aspiration to have a particular career.

Finally, you need to accept that it's tough, but tough doesn't mean impossible. Life was never meant to be easy. This is just a bump in the road - it's not the end of the road. If you keep dwelling on the past, you're going to get stuck here. But if you look forward and start making plans to go through, over, or around the road bump, then you're going to actually start getting somewhere. Also, if you're not already, please consider seeing a mental health professional. They can help you get your life back on track and find your spark again. Remember that nobody here is going to tell you to give up, but we can only give you the help you're prepared to accept and act on.