[Ghoulish]

Can someone please just give me some really good advice right now?

I'm 19 and I'm about to go to University in September. I was supposed to go last year but I realised how expensive it would be to travel to Uni then all the books I have to buy and just general things.
So I took the decision to take a gap year and just work in order to pay for my train tickets, books etc rather than borrowing money from my parents- i.e my mum who would be the only one to actually lend me money.

Throughout this gap year, I thought about what I wanted to do in the future. One thing I wanted to do was travel the world. But considering my background, it was pretty much impossible until I discovered there was a job out there that would allow me to do that- and what made it even more amazing was the fact the degree I'll be taking at Uni is directly linked to that job. And most people who do have that job don't have my degree which would make me a really good candidate for the job.

Anyway, I tried to bring it up to my parents. That I want to work abroad as soon as I finish Uni.

But they shut that conversation down several times before I even had a chance to properly explain myself. (One time I did explain it in more detail to my mum)

At first I thought they were worried I wouldn't be able to handle it. That I wouldn't be able to pay for my rent, and possibly not have a roof over my head or Look after myself... honestly, I was really confused considering the fact I've been really responsible with looking after my younger siblings, cooking, cleaning during this entire year as well as working in order to pay for my own things- I showed them that I'm responsible enough to take care of myself. Even more so I explained to them that my job provides health insurance, it even pays for my part of my rent, and I would get a really good salary which would increase the longer I worked there. It's basically the perfect job for me!

But then I found out that they weren't really that worried about me- in fact they were more worried about themselves. My parents want me to stay in the country so that I could help them take care of my younger siblings who would be teens by the time I graduate Uni. They want me to stay to take care of them and be the perfect daughter.

They told me that the only time I would be allowed to do such a thing is if they gave me permission to do that and one of them were to come with me or if I get married- and even then I would have to ask permission from my husband.

CRAZY! I KNOW!

But sadly, It's not even that shocking to me. I'm 19 and my parents (mostly my father treats me like I'm 5. No. Actually it's not even that, my father is just downright controlling- and actually abusive but thats another story.)

What I mean by controlling:

-Expects me to be home by 5 if I ever go out.
- Asks me who I'm with when I do go out. Even though I told him before I left. He phones me and asks me anyway. When I explain that person is with me at the moment so I can't (i.e hinting that it would be embarrassing to talk about them, who they are, what their last name is, what ethnicity, where they live, what they're wearing etc No, Im not exaggerating)
-Takes my phone and goes through it whenever he likes.
-Turns off the wifi by 9pm. Sometimes takes the wifi router out and puts it in his car when he goes out.
-Tells me what to wear before I go out.
-Tells me to give him my manager's phone number so he could check up on me.
-Sometimes threatens to come to my workplace to see if I really am at work when I tell him I'm working overtime etc


So really, I think by now you can tell why I want to work abroad.

I really, really need my independence. I want to be able to wake up and make my own decisions without worrying about whether my parents won't like it or not. I want to wake up one morning and not have my father yell at my face telling me that he's the one that gets to make the decisions that affects my life not me.

So what I really need from you is advice on how to convince my parents to let me work abroad.

I've already tried the obvious things like being responsible. So like, doing things I would be doing if I lived alone- like good housekeeping, working in order to pay for my own things, taking care of children, cooking, I even paid for gas bills and electricity bills before.

So what more can I do?