[Kate*]

Even if we assume (your theory), that your behavior isn't dependent on mine, standing up for myself had zero affect on the outcome. Just because I didn't sit there and take it doesn't mean I deserved what you did. Even if I had given you the reaction you wanted, it wouldn't have made the criticism okay. And I still wouldn't be the cause of your giving it. If everyone is responsible for their own behavior and learning, then "Unless they're dealing with you" doesn't apply. I wasn't being demanding, disrespectful, and unprofessional. I was standing up against people who were projecting it. I was defensive and I had a right to be.