[Kate*]

I wish you weren't coming. It's over a year away and I'm dreading it. I'm doing your definition of giving up. Get okay with it before you get here because I'm NOT talking about it. This is nowhere near as easy as "find what you love and do that.", "That's not a good attitude to have", or "There are people way more disabled than you who work; you have to be able to work." They actually agree that I CAN'T. I'm done trying to defend myself against your impossible standard of "good enough." My answers will never be right. It's one thing to know and accept that, it's another to try not to kill you when you won't stop reminding me. I've tried to tell you this a million times, I'm not sorry you refuse to listen. I'm a grown woman damn it. I have the right to make the decision not to see you without the guilt trip of you being "hurt" and "not understanding" why. You are the cause of this,
I'm done trying to explain it to you, and you hurt me a lot more when I see you than I hurt you when I don't.