Monday night I self harmed. Just last night I self harmed again. I hadn't harmed since November.
There's a Youth Worker at my school that I talk to like my own dad. Yesterday at school I told him about Monday night. Also, last night after I harmed I had emailed him a depressing letter of what I had done but with reasons why I think he shouldn't take it up with someone higher or contact my mum about it. (She does know a little about my harming and suicidal thoughts but not the whole story.) I get occassional suicidal thoughts and have made a plan but would NEVER act on it as my grandfather took his own life.
A help line is supposed to be contacting this youth worker this afternoon in the last lesson of the school day. I'm not sure if he has seen this depressing letter on the email as he hasn't come to take me out of class to talk about it and I'm assuming he would. So basically I'm getting worked up over all of this and no longer know where my life stands as I do take medication for my struggles, I try coping strategies and I talk to a counsellor outside of school as weel as a youth worker and guidance officer in school and soon to be psychiatrist outside to add to the mix.
Also, this helpline is telling the youth worker to implement a school safety plan for times I feel on edge or feel like I must harm even though I won't have anything on me.
Please lend some support or suggestions on how I can get by in school ?
