[rosepetal]

my rabbit died I don't know how I feel I fucking hate this. I just want to die. I feel like it's my fault and I'm a terrible person and I deserve to die and to hurt myself. I don't want to believe it at all, it's surreal. I don't want it to be true it's too strange and awful and not right ! This wasn't meant to happen. I feel so guilty. Had I done things differently he'd be alive probably. It's my fucking fault. I was worried about him today but thanks to anxiety I'm always fucking worried about everything so I have to assume the worry is unjustified and that I'm just over the top, I only know it's justified if someone confirms it, and they didn't, they weren't fucking worried when I said he wasn't acting normal or interested in food I'm fucking angry that they didn't confirm that yes I was right to be worried bc those are important bad signs for a rabbit ! This was not meant to fucking happen. If I didn't have anxiety I'd know when to worry and when to do something and when it's actually nothing despite feeling immensely anxious. I can't do this I need to hurt myself sometime soon I'm a fucking terrible person aaahhhhhhhh. I feel like people won't understand they don't realise a rabbit is like a cat, you have a special significant relationship with them, they're special clever loved pets with their own personalities. I feel like people including my therapist will think it's "just a rabbit." He was fucking important to me and he should be fucking alive jshdhhwhewhwgdhddjjdd