[xxpaigiexx]

I told myself I would start things off fresh and start on a clean slate and forget everything that's happened. But I can't, I just can't. I've tried so hard to move forward, but it's difficult knowing all the things you are probably saying behind all our backs. Knowing you're taking my mum's kindness for weakness. I pay my way every month and skint myself out trying to pay for everything. I have literally cut down on my spending. You rarely see me go out shopping and waste money, because there's never usually anything left to spend. I don't go out drinking every weekend. I can't help but feel some of that is your fault. If you paid your way, I might not have to pay out quite so much. I see you slipping back into old habits and I know nothing is going to change. Until you're gone, everything is just going to stay the way it is and you're never going to change. You're always going to be the same. No wonder no one wants you around. You make me sick.