[Always *]

i think you can have suicidal ideation without actually planning to go through with it. I think that that still makes it unhealthy and dangerous because even if you never plan to do it, it's still not good for you, you know?
I'm sorry about your grandpa though. I can't imagine the loss he must have felt if he thought he had no other choice but to end his life. I wonder if he did have periods of intense depression before that no one knew about? It hasn't been until the last 10 years or so that it's even been ok to talk about your mental health, he comes from a generation where it's kind of like "suck it up". That's neither here nor there though. I can speculate all day.
I don't think anything is wrong with taking medications. It's not for ever. I know my therapist recommended it just to take off the edge long enough to think clearly and focus on my issues, which was a really helpful way to think of it. I have a few friends who take it but refuse to go to therapy or anything. So while I think it's best to use the meds as a way to lift the fog and focus on getting better there is also nothing technically wrong with just taking them and carrying on with life...