[Fanatic]

I'm doubting myself so much to the point I don't know of what I do is the right decision...I know I shouldn't be whiny but could you be there for me when I feel like this? I know I'm a burden and I'm too used to taking it all by myself because of others. You always seem too busy to be a comfort that I lose my way a lot. Sure I go to a counselor nowadays but I still feel like I'm suffocating...loneliness isn't something I choose but rather have dealt with a lot forcefully and you not being here makes me remember the past all too much. I'm scared of being alone but mostly cause I hate my past and I dont think I can handle more time of being alone...