[Celyn]

Sorry to hear that your anxiety has come back, especially when things seem to be going well for you. Counselling was a good idea, and I'm sorry that it didn't work for you. Perhaps it was the counsellor or the type of counselling that you didn't find helpful? It's always worth remembering that even though you didn't find one counsellor helpful that you may find other counsellors more helpful for you. Would it be something worth trying again?

It sounds like a lot of your anxiety is linked to your thoughts, more specifically, what others may think of you. I'm wondering if you can start to notice when you are second guessing what other people are saying, and then perhaps gently remind yourself that this may be your anxiety acting up? The more you second guess things, the more you are feeding your anxiety and this can cause you to start avoiding people, when it's unlikely that people are talking about you etc. You sounds like a friendly and lovely person, so it's also unlikely that you have hurt anyone. If you have unintentionally hurt someone, I'm sure they would let you know, and then you can apologise, but otherwise, when you spend time worrying about what you might've said, you may only be feeding the anxiety that you aren't good enough. You are good enough. Try repeating positive phrases about yourself- it may seem silly at first, but the more you repeat the phrases the more you'll start to believe it and perhaps you'll feel less anxious about what others may think.

Keep going to things! I know it takes a lot of effort, especially when you talk yourself out of things, but this is the best thing to do. If you start to avoid things, though it may feel good at the beginning, it may only make you feel worse in the long run.

Also, try not to compare yourself. It sounds like you feel you aren't good enough a lot of the time, and this may cause your anxious thoughts. I notice that you say that "there's better people for all of them" but people can't be compared. Everyone is different and unique, and friendships are never the same. Your friends are your friends for a reason. There may be other people that they can be friends with, but they can't replace you in any way because you are YOU.