[del677]

My team lost.

Actually I don't have a team. I don't follow sports. But Superbowl parties with my friends who do watch football are fun.

There's lots of food, most of which probably isn't healthy for me, but you know, fun.

Everyone is rooting for the red team, so I root for them too.

Then my team is ahead, 28 to 3. I pretend to be happy, but really I feel sad for the other team. Poor Tom Brady, he won't win 5 Superbowl games. He's just embarrassingly bad today.

Then the other team catches up. Now I'm anxious. They are catching up!

Who likes watching football anyway? Why? I either feel sad because one team is losing, or I feel anxious because it's a close game. I don't like either feeling!

I wish I could enjoy watching sports like everyone else. It seems like a good way to be social and meet other people.

Other people seem to enjoy watching sports. What do they feel instead of anxiety? Or maybe they enjoy feeling anxious. Do they feel sad for the losing team?

I'm apparently different.

I'm happy the other team made a spectacular comeback. At least Tom Brady had to fight hard for that win. If he can make a comeback from deep in the valley of despair, maybe I can too.

But I'm also sad the red team lost. And I'm sad the game made me anxious. Maybe next time the two competing teams could just come out, shake hands, and make friends with each other. Then they could make friends with the audience. Then everybody could be happy, the audience can make friends with each other, then everyone can cooperate, carrying the ball gently on a satin pillow back and forth across the field.

That way no one is anxious, everyone makes new friends, romances are kindled, Superbowl babies are lovingly conceived, rainbows and unicorns fill the sky, and the whole world is impressed with how sweet and gentle and kind and loving we are, and how we're so very good at cooperating and generating kindness and compassion.

Instead I ate a bunch of unhealthy food, felt sad, got anxious, and my team lost.

I really don't get the appeal of sports.