[Chaotic_]

Thanks for responding.
Thankfully no, I haven't given in. I actually got a tattoo when I was a year clean that signified I was done with that part of my life and that I survived. So that keeps me strong when my urges hit for the most part. It's just frustrating because I can literally envision doing it sometimes. I usually just text a crisis line when I feel like it because I feel like I can't chat with my friends or boyfriend about it - I'm super ashamed of it.

As for my counselor. I don't think he is pushing me to hard, I think he is pushing more than anyone ever has. And honestly, I kind of believe if therapy doesn't hurt, it's not really doing it's job at healing me.

I do want to e-mail him about the self-harm urges, but I am not sure what to say to him. I don't want him to worry - I just want to talk about it next meeting.

As for the high-way, since I'm 24 and have my license, I couldn't do driving school. But I doubt it would help anyways, because my high way issue isn't that I don't know how to drive on the high-way, or that I question my skills, it's just that I have a panic attack every time I get on.