Hi folks! Just want to see what kind of advice the
TH community can offer me on this issue.
Growing up my mom and I had a very good relationship. My parents are divorced and she had primary custody over me until I turned 18. After high school, I moved to the Midwestern part of the USA (Illinois) and my mom moved to the South (Virginia). My biological father also lives in the Chicago area so I've been keeping in pretty close contact with him and our relationship now is probably the best it has been in my 23 years of life. Chicago is a pretty left-leaning/liberal city and my dad very much agrees with this type of politics as do I. My mom lives in what's considered the cutoff between the North and the South, though it is still considered a part of Northern Virginia. The DMV (
DC, Maryland, VA) metro area is also very left-leaning/liberal but where she lives I would consider it much more right-leaning. My mom's views also reflect this as she is very right-leaning in politics, at least compared to my own views.
A little bit more background about me for this to make sense: I am biracial, my dad is white and my mom is Asian. I work in the social services field and a lot of the work I do revolves around social inequalities and dismantling systemic oppressions. My academic and research areas in school are/were identity and self development and privilege and social awareness within marginalized groups but most of my work specifically focused on race.
If you followed the US Presidential Election, overall you might agree that it was divisive, especially with issues concerning race. I went to
DC for Thanksgiving to see my mom because I haven't seen her in over a year and to be totally honest, I am regretting it. Long story short, I still love my mother, but as another woman of color I am having a very hard time respecting her views about societal inequalities. I would prefer to keep our contact to as minimum as possible, but quite frankly I am still reliant on her to help with my tuition for this last semester of school. Even with working 25 hours a week and maxing out my loan allowance, there is no way I can afford the $16k for school this semester on top of my housing/personal costs and other expenses.
Where do you cross the line between loving and respecting someone? Have you ever had to cut any family out of your life because their own values conflicted greatly with yours?
TL;DR When you have strong political differences and stances on social issues than your family, how do you deal with it? How about when you are still dependent on them for certain things?