[Kate*]

This is part of the reason I didn't want to start getting it together at the end of the year! I finally manage to get a therapy appointment and the Medicaid is going to FUCKING LAPSE again! Therapy would make me feel better enough to set up everything else I've been putting off and now they're not going to cover it because of a lack of information! And do they tell you what's missing?! Of course not. Had I been born normal I'd be a master's level licensed mental health professional working in a field that DESPERATELY needs people, but NO, I have to be stuck dealing with this SHIT for the rest of my fucking life. And I can't get the help I need to do that, because you won't fucking COVER the services!!!!!!!!!! Even if you wonder why I'm still not working, that doesn't explain why you're lapsing BOTH of our coverage. She's getting Medicare next year anyway, at least she can get away from this madness.

To print forms, or not to print forms. I suppose I could, it might save time, unless the printer doesn't cooperate and WHY am I nauseous?! This is the last shot I'm taking, don't blow it.

Forms not printed, don't feel like doing it at 1 AM while nauseous. Am I sick because of what I ate, because of what I'm going to do tomorrow, or because that's ending?! Either way I'm miserable and I actually have to function tomorrow. And now the garage door is broken too. It could've happened on our way out tomorrow with the car inside though, so in a way, this is better.

Now it's in less than an hour and I don't want to do it. It's almost like things have to occur as I'm thinking they're good ideas or I don't want to do them. I still will, but not as willingly.

PLEASE fix our insurance so I don't have to give up the therapist I finally managed to get in to and don't have to worry about medications running out again, and can finally get the eye doctor appointment I was supposed to make and take care of a month ago!