[Kate*]

STOP saying that this is fucking GENETIC, there is NO EVIDENCE of that! Which is exactly why it's DIFFERENT than those other things that are. Those are proven genetic, so far this seems to be due to lack of oxygen, trauma, or toxicity during pregnancy, birth, or shortly after.

"We are the cause of all our own problems and have our own solutions." You do realize that we DON'T cause everything and not every problem is solvable, right? How is that "inspirational"? Sounds like a massive guilt trip to me. Accountability ends where unfair blame begins.

"You can have a good life, it'll just be harder than most people's" Yeah, because THAT'S reassuring! I've been put through enough hell because of this, I want a break. I deserve to have things be smooth sailing for awhile. two problems though: I'm not sure we EVER get that, and just because I want, deserve, and work my ass off for something, doesn't mean it's going to happen for me. Proof: dismissal. Everyone else's life works that way, but I'm the exception to everything because of this. I want what everyone else wants, I just may never have it.

The closer my session gets, the harder everything is to deal with. I expected that because it happened last time too. As much as I want to believe that it will help, EVERY experience I've had says I'll be lucky if it doesn't make me worse. And, I don't mean the expected "worse before better" thing either. I mean added dismissive treatment like last time, or more damage done by help that doesn't help.

Yes, I just realized that if I had scheduled with that agency instead of the private practice I chose, I'd get twice as many sessions. But, when I looked for covered providers through the PLAN'S website, practically every one of them showed up covered and none from the other place did. So, whose fault is that?! Plus, I know that that agency is notoriously bad. I still get plenty of sessions, so hopefully I still come out ahead on this. And I avoid a place I had seriously considered working at had it worked out, so maybe it's a good thing.

How many times do I have to ask you to PLEASE STOP the automatic refills on that! It's been at least 4 times now. I would do it, but I'd have to go with you and that wouldn't make much sense.

When you have so few Facebook friends, you notice when they ditch you, ouch.