1. What some of the strongest emotions you felt when dealing with an eating disorder?
Shame, frustration, worthlessness, hopelessness, depression and suicidal
2. Did anyone ever confront you about it? And if so how did you respond?
Friends, well not really 'friends' more like acquaintances, said how skinny i m getting, they said it as a bad thing, i said "really? Thank you lol" and they were like "no like really reaslly skinny." then it was awkard.
I also had a teacher confront me about it, she knew, coz she battles with it too, she gave me a book called "good girls do swallow"
My mum would say (more like in a tone of total pissed off 'hate you' tone, which did not help at all)
"you are getting too thin! If you lose anymore weight, im taking you to see someone and ill drag you there if i have to"
i responded by yelling at her saying she didnt know what se was talking about and that i was in the normal weight range and i showed her an approximation given by the bmi on the net.
My teacher , Mr W (who was the only person at the time who knew i had an eating disorder) said "i've been watching you're weight and you're getting too skinny now." - that made me feel so triumphant "YES!" i thoght, "Too skinny is what i want, unhealthy skinny is what i want! ahahaha"
we talked for a while and then his wife turned up (she is a teacher's assistant) and then they both started i think trying to freak me out of an eating disorder telling me all the bad shit that happed to his wifes sister and fdamily when her sister was anorexic" i took it all in but didn't care at all, all i cold think about was "yes i am noticeably skinny now woot!" - fuced up i know.
3. Did you ever have a scary moments when your eating disorder lead to dramatic complications? If so what happened? (I.e. passing out, having to go to the hospital)
One day after fasting for four days, eating nothing but 2 mandarins, i woke up in hte morning to be bed ridden from excruciating nausea, but i couldnt get found out, i had to go to school. so i, with tremendous effort, literally dragged myself out of bed, my body felt like a dead weight. At this point my vision fading to complete blackness and i couldnt see a thing. I felt my way to the bathroom and stripped off and stood in the shower, still unable to see, although while in the shower, slowly it came somewhat visible again. As i stepped out of the shower, a tremendous wave of nausea came over me and my vision once again disappeard and i threw my clothes on and felt my way to the couch. There i lay and passed out for half an hour. I woke to the same nausiating feeling and i knewww what it was from and i knew the only way to make it go away....eat. I asked my brother to get me a bowl of cereal, it went slightly away, then i asked for another and then my body was able to funtion, although i still felt very sick. but now i also felt extremely guilty so i went to school and in a cry for help i told my teacher what had happened. He arranged to take me to the doctor so as my wishes that my parents not find out were kept.
Recently also, since the stage of my
ED is now at bulimia and not anorexia, i had had enough (still do) and i took countless amounts of anti psychotics and ended up in the intensive care unit for a week...
wow very sorry for the length of this reply, but it felt good to get it out. xD