[11easkry]

Hi all,

So basically, over the last few months, after going to a summer camp, my confidence and my anxiety had seemed to greatly improve. Gone was the shy kid who would be nervous to stand up for what she believed in and speak her thoughts. Or so I thought. Recently, since around last week, I'm not sure why, but my anxiety regarding friendships and social situations has flared back up. I was supposed to go to a concert with a friend from band on Friday, but my nerves were getting to best of me and I had to bail on him last minute. I felt absolutely awful about it, but I couldn't physically or mentally do it.

And then today, I have a friend who is in a brass band, and I was supposed to help them out today. I got to the meeting place where we were all supposed to meet but nobody was there, so I waited for 10 minutes, and nobody was there, so I texted her and she said everyone was waiting somewhere else, and that I should meet them there and that thy were going to start playing in 5 minutes. I was getting super stressed out because I didn't want to delay everybody, stress everyone out, and basically be a burden on everyone, and so I broke down and my mum picked me up. Words cannot describe how awful I feel. My anxiety is causing me to be selfish, and I have always tried to avoid being selfish. The people who I have let down aren't going to forgive me and I don't know how to face any of them, I feel like crap and I just want to sleep for the rest of my life. I really need to stop it because it will only get worse if this keeps happening. I have no one to talk to because a lot of the people who I thought were my friends turned out to just tolerate me an don't actually care for me, and the people who I have have other people, and I'm very alone right now. I just need help and advice.