[Kate*]

Tomorrow is going to be the worst holiday yet. As grateful that I want to be that I survived this long, this crap was something else I would've avoided had I not been.

Don't worry, nobody wants to fucking do this, so why are we?! I don't care anymore, even family isn't worth it. And bonus, I think I gained even MORE weight UGH

My side of this didn't come with a manual, maybe I should write an abridged version for the people who will never come behind me.

I'm the only one in the world who pursued a license and didn't get one. I want my happy ending too damn it.

Don't know why you stated, but STOP calling in the morning! What on earth made you think I'd be up by then?!

This is what I was afraid of.

We walk in the door and the first 2 things you tell me cousin 1 got his nurses license and cousin 2 got a promotion. I got fucked over and broken. All anyone talks about with me anymore is how I've amounted to nothing.

I really wish it would stop haunting me so much. It's been almost two years, it should be better by now. Between that and it constantly smacking me in the face, I never get a break.

You need to pick a side, do you think we can amount to something or are we all doomed to suffer and kill ourselves because of this?! If you're going to be this vocal, people who look to you for guidance need to know where you stand.

I wouldn't be shocked if I'm dealing with trauma from all of this and the underlying reason isn't recognized or treatable. fuck.