That awkward moment when you cry from your own writing
I'm a cancer-causing agent
You said so yourself
At any given moment,
I can make you have
cancer, ulcer, heart attacks
I'm sorry for being the root of all disease
I'm sorry for being born
I caused my sister to get PTSD
She said so herself,
I traumatize the family
And if she went away for college,
She wouldn't miss me
When I asked her months later
She said she never said it
But I remember it, and
I see her following my footsteps
I am a bad influence
At any given moment
She will skin pick
She will eat compulsively
She will procrastinate
She learned these from me
I failed to contain it
I'm sorry for being the root of all destruction
I'm sorry for not being a good role model
I'm sorry for being born
I'm a handful to be around
You can't stand me being here
You want me to disappear
But you don't want me hiding, or
Wasting time crying, I
Should be holding up,
tending to everyone else
Minimizing the burden I am
As much as I can
I'm sorry for being the root of all suffering
I'm sorry for spilling out
I'm sorry for needing help, and
For not feeling up to always helping out
Skin picking long term can lead to cancer
He said so himself
I secretly hope I get cancer,
instead of someone else
But in the end
cancer isn't what will kill me
I'd refuse help
That's the punishment
I deserve to have
Because,
I'm sorry for being born
I'm sorry for causing pain
I feel so much guilt and shame
I cannot bear to live one more day