I'm so done. I couldn't control myself today. No homework has been in three days and my grades will slowly drop as this depression carries this weight on my chest.

"If I died, will you pay for my funeral?" I asked a friend of mine. It was a joke, she didn't take it too seriously. But was it a joke? No, it wasn't. Of course, she wouldn't be the one to pay for it but she might be the one to go to it as well as all the other people who know me. "I take this anymore" and she hugged me.

I'm so stressed out in this life that feels hopeless. I had to talk to the school counselor because of how much I was affected. I couldn't hold still, I wanted to let out this wrath and punch a wall or something. I quit cutting, so I didn't want to relapse. But now I'm into other forms of self harm such as purging. But that has nothing to do with actually wanting to hurt myself. It's about my eating problems.

I'm sorry to all those that care about me. But I'm not sorry to the ones that have put me down and trapped me in this rigid cage of desperation. I'm just done with life. I can't control myself.