[hocus pocus]

I am really sorry, that's terrible. It must be hard knowing that she did all that work on herself to become healthier and then someone took her life away. I am glad that she got a chance to work on herself before she died, though.

It's understandable that this is bringing up a lot for you since you've lost a lot of people in the last few years. Losing someone is never easy. It is nice of you to worry about your friend and her family during such a difficult time, but if worrying about it is making you struggle too much, maybe you can take a few steps back for a while.

I think it would help if you had a safe person, or safe people to lean on while all of these feelings and other things are coming back to the surface for you. Can you lean on your sister, your mom or anyone else you trust? You can always lean on us, too. So you don't have to do this alone.

In the meantime while feelings are so intense it could help to take it one day at a time, or an hour at a time, or however long feels right and manageable for you.

Take care of yourself.