[Kate*]

It figures, the first time I can't get a follow up appointment on time because Medicaid is stupid, I start having symptoms for no reason.

3rd year in a row I can't afford loan payments. I can't pay nothing forever.

I could tell everyone who didn't believe me "I told you so" about a thousand times.

Even if there was something they could do, they don't care enough to do it because they don't have to anymore and I wouldn't be worth it anyway. I know that any response would leave me disappointed even if it was your job to give me one. I can't handle having anything fail right now which means I can't have hope for help either. I'm the exception to everything so I may as well give up on believing that it's going to get any better. Everyone else gets that, so I get the opposite, it gets worse until I decide to quit out of complete exhaustion in every sense of the word. I hope you didn't take that as weird, I did the best I could and tried not to dump on you.

Why do I feel like I can't tell you this? Maybe I've just leaned on you too much, maybe I don't want to ruin the good day you had, maybe I don't have the energy, or maybe I just don't want to think about it anymore.

I don't believe it's healthy to teach children that whenever they're upset, they "must choose joy" You're teaching that negative emotions (that make us human) are wrong and unacceptable. They're uncomfortable not wrong. Teach her how to cope with them, not ignore them.