[Kate*]

I have no idea why you're doing this at the crack of dawn, but if it continues much longer I'm not going to sleep.

It won't be long now, started off really well and now we're back to this. I can't. I just can't; and there's nothing you can do. I have given up. Even if you actually cared, which you don't because you don't have to, I'm too far gone. But it's not because I didn't try or gave up; I just finally learned when to quit.

And now I can't even do that because you're so good. At least you'll have a job and can do it as a hobby, I'd have to rely on it for income and I know that no one makes enough from it to live on.

I have gifts and I want to use them to make a difference and support myself. Too bad it'll never happen because of my deficits. And why do I feel like I'm going back there?! It will never happen what part of that can my brain and heart not get?

Everyone kept saying "You're young, you can start over." The problem is that this collapsed literally everything and it couldn't have come at a worse time. I'm supposed to be starting the life I planned, not recovering from the one I couldn't start because of who I am and floundering to figure it all out again while expecting to fail like always. This isn't a self-fulfilling prophecy, it went the other way.

Well, that was pointless, but I've had it go worse.

Every. Single. One. I was supposed to be one too, you know.

So, you're saying I'm not even allowed to consider either of the only two solutions that I can come up with?! The sooner you accept my fate, the easier it will be. And no, telling me I have good relationships with family I never see doesn't help. That's not even why.

This shooting range needs to not exist 3 hours of sleep because of it. SHUT UP