[Kate*]

Hello there and welcome

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with anger and being abusive to your girlfriend. I'm glad that you realize that you do it and that you know it's not okay. I would suggest that the two of you not be together right now, and that you consider talking to a professional. You said "she pushes my buttons", but your anger doesn't come from her, you can learn to control your reaction to the things she does and find other outlets for your anger. Even if you don't want to get help now, this behavior could repeat in other relationships and I can tell that you don't want that. I think the sooner you get help and the younger you are, the better.