Hello everyone, I hope you're having a good one. I'll try to make this story as short as I can.
Things to consider before reading:
-We are both sophomores(10th grade) in high school
-Both of our parents are divorced
-I live in 2 different cities that are about 40 miles away
-I'm Mexican (I was actually born in Mexico and I came to the US [Legally, we actually waited 6 years to get approval] two years ago), my girlfriend is American
So I've been dating this girl for 10 months now and it's been quite a ride. The first couple months were all about sweetness and kisses and hugs. Then she told me that she suffers from depression and anxiety, so a few months later I got her to be confident enough to stop taking medication for depression. First off, her family (which she calls "poison") is not very supportive with her. She has tried to join the gymnastics team at school, but neither of her parents support her at all (which means that she cannot pay the fee or get approval). They also won't pay for her drivers
ed or insurance or gas for her car. In fact, she recently got very sick and they didn't do anything about it. And her dad only buys frozen and canned food, so she's a little malnourished and often tired and weak. Also, her sister is very abusive. She is 2 years younger than my girlfriend, and she hits hear and insults her in a daily basis. So basically her parents don't care and her sister is violent. She says she has tried to get professional help, but they won't do anything to help.
In contrast, I'm on the other end of this spectrum; my parents are very supporting and loving, my brother is my best friend, I'm a varsity soccer player, I am very religious, I consider myself a pretty good musician (I play all the instruments in the brass family and I participate in the concert and jazz bands in my school, and I perform at church every Sunday), and I am very healthy in general.
Now, this is affecting me emotionally. Six out of seven nights a week this last 7 months have been very depressing. It's usually because she gets bored and starts to think about all the things she can't do because of her parents and how bad her life is. As you may have predicted [or not], I'm the only one that listens to her. Thus, I'm always hearing and reading her ranting about how bad her life is and how she is a "nobody". When this happens, I become very stressed and anxious because I don't know how to respond to it and I also feel frustrated because I don't have the power to change anything about her life problems. We usually end up crying ourselves to sleep or very mad at each other. As a consequence of this, I've developed some grade of depression and anxiety. This is really bad for me because as a musician and a soccer player I need to have a solid mind to be able to focus on my performance and to stay confident and motivated in what I'm doing. Also, she has been asking me constantly to have dates almost every day, and that's hard for me because I've been very busy with soccer and marching band, and of course I go back and and forth between the 2 cities where each of my parents live.
Here's the thing: I really love her and I want her to be happy, but how can that be if I can't be happy with her? Am I just being senseless and selfish? Do I make any sense? What can I do to understand her? I don't wanna give up, but I don't know what to do at this point.