[Kate*]

Just because you went through something with the same name doesn't mean you get me and it doesn't make you right. You're proud of her for denying her negative emotions when she got screwed over. "It'll change your life." No, it won't. I know because I tried it and everything collapsed anyway. I tried to "choose happiness." I ended up with false hope that collapsed instead. I prefer real pessimism to forced optimism.

I still want it. I don't think that will ever change. By the way, it's been 18 months; my new door never opened. I knew nothing good would come out of this, and that hoping for it would only lead to disappointment and make me feel even worse.

It's not my fault you misread what I wrote. You just tried to bash me by agreeing with what I said. And if you want to fight about this, go for it. I'm not engaging you again because I didn't do what you accused me of in the first place. There always has to be one I suppose. Excuse me 11 people, but when the fuck did I BASH them?! Compared to how I could've (and other people did) say it, I did an amazing job of responding like a human being. They have gone out of their way to provide this comfort item for 5 years, and their options are running short. Ready or not, the reality is coming and what are they going to do then?! The sooner they work on this, the easier it will be for her and this isn't the first time she'll face this challenge.

Haunted again. I'm not convinced it could never have happened which makes accepting it even harder because I was so close. I hate being haunted though because I still want to go back when it happens.The reality is that this broke me and that will never change. Yes, I know it turned into a nightmare, but it left me with another problem. I have the mindset of a mental health professional without the ability to use it anywhere and I'll never finish the degree that would've allowed that because I had to be born different.

Sick again with no explanation, got no, and I mean ZERO sleep, and I'm haunted once again. You have no idea what I would give to have the life I always dreamed of having.

SHE'S ALLOWED TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN HAPPY, when will people understand that?!?!