[Celyn]

I'm sorry to hear that you were abused by your neighbour, and later assaulted at a family party.

Though alcohol affects memory, it's understandable that if your cousin could remember the name of the guy you fancied, which you told him right before he assaulted you, that you would question or maybe even assume that he would remember the assault. However, quite often those who abuse and assault go into denial about their actions. Denial can be quite powerful because deep down, they know what they did, but being in denial allows them to ignore those memories and seemingly carry on as normal. That may or may not be the case for your cousin, but it can help to explain his behaviour a bit. It's really good that you try to avoid him as much as possible though.

It must've taken a lot of strength to tell your sister about what happened, and I'm so glad that she was supportive. It's also understandable that you would want to get professional support too. However, I am really sorry to hear about your mum's reaction. Your mum may also be in denial about what happened, but perhaps she may feel that she should've protected you or at least noticed what was going on. She may also find it hard to believe that these people hurt you too. So perhaps as a defence, she shuts you down and may go into denial. This doesn't defend what she said to you (you were assaulted regardless of age or relation, so you can say you are a victim/survivor of assault/abuse), but is another way of looking at it.

Though your mum's reaction wasn't helpful, it doesn't stop you from telling others and getting the support you need and deserve. If you feel that telling the teacher is what you want to do, then I think you should go for it. Teacher's do notice when grades have dropped, but when it comes to high school, they don't get to spend enough time with individual students to find out why this may be. There are certain rules in place for when a student discloses abuse so the school may have to call home. However, you can explain that you already told your mum but she doesn't want you telling others about it. The teacher should be sensitive to your needs as well as follow the rules. Another option would be to talk to your school's nurse or counsellor (if you have one). Or you could also go to your doctor and get a referral for counselling from there.

Keep reaching out to others and I'm sure you'll get the support