[Kate*]

Based on that logic, I was supposed to learn from the "mistakes" I couldn't keep myself from making in order to become someone I'm not sure I was intended to be. It started to feel wrong for a reason. I want what it would've allowed me to do without becoming who they said I needed to be for it to be possible. Even they admitted I didn't screw up. I can't reconcile this without the truth that I'll never get. I only know that I was treated differently and they never explained or admitted it.

I thanked you for that, essentially doing your job, a year later because I clung to what you said so strongly that it's part of the reason I'm still here and I'm not ashamed of that. Maybe if she hadn't been so insistent on blaming me for her behavior, claiming it was all my "choice" and fault that she treated me the way she did, I wouldn't be as messed up now.

Nothing about my disability, or the way you treated me was my fault and I would NEVER "choose" what I've been through because of it. I love how " Everyone is responsible for their own behavior" until yours towards me become my fault. I never said I was perfect, you couldn't stop saying that you were professionals while blaming me for the disability that means I'll never be one, and the fact that you were allowed to blame me in the first place. Actions speak louder than words and I can't believe how hypocritical the whole group of professions are. You don't have to be like that just because everyone before you was and told you "That's just how it is." I would think that after being on the receiving end of it, and claiming you care, inflicting it to the point of PTSD symptoms on someone else would be the LAST thing you'd want to do. Your job is to treat it, not cause it. Or, did I do that to myself on purpose too, along with the brain damage I've had since birth?

I love that his first words to me when I bought it up were "You can't change it." While he admitted that it was wrong and said that you'd force me out if I didn't sit there and take it (and I'm assuming eventually act like you towards others.) That will never make sense to me, but since I'll never have to deal with it, I guess it doesn't matter. I'll let KARMA take care of you.

See, you think the fact that my situation has never happened before automatically makes it 100% my fault. You forgot two things: extremely rare disability, and the fact that you aren't perfect. I'm not completely innocent, but neither were most of you, and as the professionals in it who were modeling professional behavior, you fell short of not only your own perceived perfection, but your actual higher standard. Then when I tried to show your true colors, ducked, dodged, denied, and covered for each other better than I've ever seen until I was (falsely) convinced that I was going crazy, and the end result was me being blamed for your behavior, my life in shambles (which is of course also my fault), and you get to go on consequence-free, like I never existed, and able to continue your very shady practices while claiming you "care" about the people you're legally ruining the lives of and psychologically destroying without consequences while you stand on your legal protections from your constructed system, and imagined moral high ground. It makes me sick. You know what you did to me, you know you treated me differently, and you know it was wrong. I can't believe I fell for it and let you take advantage of me like that.