[Kate*]

Toilet just broke AGAIN! Between the shower/bathtub and the toilet the plumbers have been here 5 (about to be 6) times since Easter. We need a new toilet, just bite the bullet and replace it already!!!!! I know it's expensive, but it's been 3 weeks since he fixed the shower. It's absolutely ridiculous!

Turns out I'm surrounded by non-counselor professionals (thank God), who take my hell of an insurance. Now to build up the courage to start contacting them.

I have no idea what you were doing, but I got about 3 hours of sleep because of it.

I'm convinced that it's trauma at this point, on top of everything else, thanks. You have no idea what it takes just for me to keep breathing and those best equipped to handle it make it worse because they're a constant reminder of the life I desperately wanted and almost had. I don't know if I can do this. As badly as I know I need it, it might just be too hard. You got me to do it once, and I can't rely on you again for that, but it would be nice. I don't need permission perse, just encouragement that I can do it and it'll be worth it. I want a good experience for once; I deserve that.