[DisneyGirl]

Hey guys, I've made a couple of posts. This site so far has really impressed me, it seems like a really nice place to talk things out with others. I'm 16 and I have this health anxiety as others have called it. Basically last summer I convinced myself that I had lung cancer. I had a few symptoms, I automatically assumed the worst. That entire summer I was a mess, I thought for sure I was dying. I couldn't enjoy my life at all. The symptoms were so easily associated with simple things but my mind won't let me believe that. Since then Every single symptom that I come across I rush to google which confirms my worst fears. This is a cycle I'm stuck in and since last summer there's no way out of it and it's tearing me apart. Every single week it's something new I think I'm dying from, and my mind truly 100% believes it in that time. A month ago I thought I had a tumor in my neck and I couldn't even eat or sleep for a weekend, I was so terrified. Now I'm having issues with my menstrual cycle, and some new symptoms have popped up tonight so I'm terrified all over again. Of course it's completely natural to worry about health, but not in the way I am. Literally every SINGLE week it's something new that has me absolutely hysterical. Right now I'm convinced I have something else wrong, I have quite a few symptoms. I'm just sitting here in my room, I can't even think about sleeping right now I'm so scared. I researched this crazy mindset I have up, it seems like health anxiety. Treatments to help people with it feel better includes therapy/counseling but I'm too embarrassed to ask my parents to take me to that. They know how bad it has gotten though. My mom makes me feel guilty, I've broke down in tears at times from being so terrified. I hate worrying her. I feel so helpless because I know if something ever was wrong there would be nothing I could do about it. I used to open up to my friends about my fears but they are all so tired of hearing what I'm terrified of this week, I try to keep it to myself and it's hard. This is completely ruining me. I'm so sick of living my life like this but there's no escaping it, God knows I've tried.