[Kate*]

I'm torn between being glad I won't be associated with it because of the way it is, and crushed because it happened because of the way it is. Others with this can do it, we could've made it happen; or at least done a better job taking it away.

Here's an idea: STOP DOING ILLEGAL THINGS! problem solved.

I think I can overlook it with you, but mental illness and a disability with this bleak of an outlook change the rules. It's not always a choice. You can say choose to focus on the positive all you want, but you can't focus on something you can't see and if you ever manage to stop a panic attack just by simply choosing not to have it, please let me know. The fact that it never works is proof that it's not possible.

You call her from an hour away then call and ask us to drop our entire day (including the food in the oven) to run a to the library for her and then sit with her the rest of the day while she whines and complains because she told you she's "lonely" and it's our fault because we chose to take ONE day off when we never said we were going in the first place. And while you're at it, can she cancel plans to take her to the appointment you accidenally scheduled for the wrong week? You can't do it because you're on VACATION! In the place you go every weekend. It's blatantly obvious that you and everyone else are running away and passive-aggressively passing her off on each other and getting resentful. Why don't we get the same opportunity to take a break?! I want the option to run away too! So, no we didn't drop everything because you wouldn't, and we're sick of it being expected of us because no one else wants to do it. We have lives too for fuck sake. We need to do that and get it over with.