Quote:
Originally Posted by DutchWelshWolf
I'm so sorry you are being bullied because of the rape. Some people just don't understand the effects of rape, unfortunately, particularly young people who may not be so educated on the matter.
Are the police still conducting interviews? If they are, it might be worth asking if you can remain anonymous. I'd also advise to keep telling the pastoral team. Not only do most (if not all) schools in the UK have a zero tolerance bullying policy, but you don't deserve to be bullied over this and unfortunately, if the pastoral team aren't kept informed of what's going on, they may not realise the extent of the issue. Have you told your family about the bullying? If things don't seem to get better, you can always ask your family to talk to the school, to back you.
It may also help to think about what things can be put in place to prevent the bullying. If you wanted, you could talk to the pastoral care team about improving the education on rape- perhaps they can arrange an assembly for everyone to attend. Or you could ask the pastoral team to pass on the message to your teachers so that if the bullies are in your class, they keep an eye on things. And if the bullying happens at break or lunch, perhaps the pastoral team can offer a room that you can go in to get away from the bullying and to calm down after experiencing a flashback or a panic attack. If it happens during class, perhaps you can arrange with teachers that if you show them a coloured card, you can discreetly leave the room and go somewhere to calm down.
It would also be worthwhile talking to your school counsellor too as not only was the rape traumatic, but bullying is also horrible. Perhaps they can also help to think of more ways to prevent or manage the bullying better.
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Hi Holly.
Thanks so much for the kind words and support. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head - but even if they don't understand, surely they can at least try to be sympathetic instead of making it worse for me?
The police have stopped conducting interviews as they've interviewed everyone who was present at the time. I've told the pastoral team again but nothing's changed. My family knows about the bullying and some of the things that have been said but they are reluctant to get involved because they think it will all just blow over (essentially sharing the opinion of the pastoral team and my useless counselor). However, I was considering asking my favourite teacher to talk to them (who knows absolutely everything that's gone on, including the self harm, flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety, past bullying etc) as she is incredibly supportive and like a second mother to me.
I like the bullying prevention strategies you've mentioned. The assembly isn't possible as we aren't supposed to discuss it in public until the police have finished investigating (despite the fact that they've already made it pretty damned public ffs). The bullying mainly happens during classes and my teachers have been told to keep an eye out for it but the majority of them just turn a blind eye. The coloured card thing is a great idea though - I'll see if it's a viable option.
I'm not actually allowed to discuss the rape itself because it might interfere with the court process if the defendant can argue that my counselor has somehow influenced me or created false memories, and I don't really trust her at all (or think she's very good at her job - I told my favourite teacher more in 30 seconds than I did my counselor in 30 minutes). I suppose it's still worth a shot.
Thanks,
Siobhan
