[jamdoughnut]

Does every week have to be a new kind of hell? When does this end?
since February, every single week has somehow been more painful than the last. I dojt know how this happens. I thought last week was bad, with me failing everything there is to fail and not being able to get up in the morning, with this week having one of my only friends have a major crisis and almost kill himself, his dog, and others. And after dealing with this for four days straight, non stop to make sure that he doesnt hurt anyone, i have to then go report him. Ive lost his trust, he feels betrayed, and now he feels that he cant come to me anymore; by getting him the help he needed i made his life hell, and all the while people say im a hero for saving these lives. Im not. How does that make me a hero? Everyone is happy except for him, the only one who actually needed a hero. I did what anyone shouldve done, there was nothing extraordinary about it. Sadly. So while im trying to stay standing on my own two feet and fighting with teachers, im texting in class to make sure hes ok and living in fear that hes already hurt someone. And now hes probably in a hospital, and they wont tell me anything about it, so i cant ever see him again.
My god, i need help.