[Kate*]

Stupid anxiety freaking me out for no reason. They're not starting interviews until Monday, so mine is NEXT Friday, not this Friday, I know she said the 10th, not the 3rd so why am I paranoid about missing it?! I guess if I do go on the wrong day it'd be a sign. The ONE TIME I couldn't write it down and I already blew off an interview with this manager so I REALLY hope I got it right.

This is seriously going to haunt me for the rest of my life, it's getting ridiculous. I've tried all of that, I do it every day, it still isn't doing any good.

I really wish contacting you would fix this. It's haunting me and I want my old life back!!!

My self-everything is non-existent and I can't trust anyone or anything to save my life. That leaves me with one option. It's not what I want, but it's better than this life-long hell. I can't even seek help because, not only do I still dream of working from the other side of the couch, when you taught me how to be one and then revoked the possibility, it became too painful and all I learned was how to lie and get away with it.