[BLAGHT]

Hey... If you saw my last post saying I was going to kill myself, I tried. I have a scar around my neck from where rope was when I tried to hang myself. Anyways, now it's worse...

I got pulled out of 8th grade because I was being bullied. I was sent to a special school for kids with depression. I was there for almost all of 8th grade. Now the last half of 9th grade is being spent at a different place for mental health. The kids at my new high school just bullied me and called me a loner, and I tried to jump off the roof of the school. That's what got me sent to another "special school" this time. No one at this alternative school is very smart, either... The new one is more for kids with mental retardation. What I am saying is that no one there can be someone I can talk to, because they are all extremely weird and not very appropriate. There are only 6 other kids at the school, too...

Well, I want to shoot up my high school for forcing me to go to this alternative school. I never get assignments from teachers, meaning that I have no work to do at home. The people at school say that I have to repeat my entire grade over, which is fucking stupid because I was on the A-Honor for 1st and 2nd trimester, until I was sent to this alternative school. That makes me want to kill the teachers and administrators that put me there. I also want to kill the students because they say mean things to my face and behind my back (I hear them) all the time.

I think of the most brutal ways I could kill them. I know how to make some bombs and poisons (deep web) and I want to torture all of them. I figured I would make this one girl who always made fun of me snort Ricin (I know how to make). I really just want to watch them die in pain, and then butcher their bodies. I figured I would try to kill a few cops too, and then blow myself up with a bomb I found how to make online.

I don't know what to do. Writing all this out makes me feel better because I can plan my massacre somewhat while I write. I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to be stopped from doing it. I don't really have anyone to tell, anyways...