[JazzyJazz]

Hey there.

I think that where you are going wrong is comparing yourself to your peers. I used to do the same. But then I realised that it makes no sense to compare what I'm doing to what my friends are doing, because we are completely different people. So one day, when I was sitting at my desk feeling like a failure, I scribbled something on a piece of paper and pinned it to my noticeboard:

"Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Do what feels right for you. <3"

There will always be someone who appears to be having more success than you. But success if a very personal thing and completely subjective. There are people who would consider you successful for being able to hold down jobs.

All the things that you have mentioned (e.g. starting a family, going to university, etc.) can be done at any age and there really is no rush or pressure for you to do those things. You may never want to do them, and that is completely fine, because there will be things that you do want to do. I realise that you are wanting to know what those things are, so my advice is to continue to experiment; try different things and see what grabs you. Don't beat yourself up if something isn't you, just move on to something else. Try also to do some things that you know you are good at. This will help to boost your self esteem.

There is the possibility that no matter what you try, you will continue to feel depressed. If this happens, I think it would be worth you speaking to someone such as a counsellor. They can help you to find some focus and ways of improving your outlook on life and opinion of yourself.