[Rivière]

As you're 17 (which is still classed as a minor until you're 18 regardless of the legal age of sexual consent being 16 in the UK) and he's 26 as well as having a girlfriend, in my personal opinion what's happened is particularly inappropriate. Not only is there this huge 9 year age gap between you, again, he's mentioned that he has a girlfriend. This here should be a huge no no. Clearly this guy has very little conscience in how to go about the situation. From what you've stated about him, he doesn't seem to care that he just went behind his girlfriend's back and kissed a girl who's 9 years younger than he is and on more than one occasion. For this reason I'm going to have to agree that you'll only be taken advantage of. I don't care if there are troubles in his relationship. I don't care if he's feeling sad or lonely in his personal life. He's a grown man and you're a teenager, he should not bring you into his personal life troubles and nor should you be used in any way to make him feel better should this be the case.

One thing I will ask is that you think of his girlfriend in this situation. Imagine you were in a relationship with someone and you'd found out that they'd gone behind your back kissing other girls. How would you feel? If I were in that position I know I'd feel very hurt and very betrayed. Someone I loved went behind my back and went off with other people without even caring. That would make me feel like I wasn't enough for them, I'd feel very inadequate and I'd feel very insecure about myself as a person.

While it's understandable that you have feelings for an older guy, you have a choice here. You can either continue down the path you've started by allowing yourself to be used by being his 'bit on the side' or you can take a stand, recognise that each of you, especially his girlfriend, will come out the worst and you can fight your feelings, be the adult in this situation and learn to say No. If he doesn't take no for an answer and he keeps pushing himself towards you inappropriately, again, you're still not 18 and are still classed as a minor in the eyes of the law, not only would he be breaking the law for harassment, but he'd be committing harassment towards a minor which is even worse.

All in all, put your feelings aside for a moment and think of the logical outcome of this situation. Think about what you really want, think about what he wants, think about what his girlfriend wants. Do you really want to be used? Do you really want to be his secret? Do you really want to be his girlfriend's heartbreak? Again, you have a choice.