[Kate*]

I have a right to my feelings and every reason in the world to be bitter. NOTHING has ever worked out or gone right for me, including the help it took me 12 years to seek in the first place, and I can't tell you how many times the phrase "unless it's me" or some variation has applied to my life.

I couldn't be more textbook for this, it's going to end one of 3 ways, none of them good or what I would EVER want for myself. I stopped seeing the point 15 years ago. I am NOT okay. I may never have a life, let alone one I'd want.

I REALLY can't do this, my first day of work ever (7 hours and hopefully a break) starts in 12 hours. I don't want to do this even if it is the most disability-friendly work environment I'll ever find. I want to believe you had a hand in this, please work it out and be with me tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful, but I don't think I can do it, especially without you.

And you! "Lack empathy" my ass. My friend lost family an hour ago and I'm crying with her, and want nothing more than to reach through my screen and hug her right now. You don't get to decide what I do and don't feel (and then use it to ruin my life) even though you already did.

Honestly, I'd rather be failing at school than doing this and supervision spiraled the crap out of me. I haven't wanted to go back more in a LONG time. I can't fucking do this it's that simple.

Tonight is the short shift and then I get 2 days off before my weekend SUCKS, I really hope this isn't going to be a consistent thing and that I'll get Monday off too because I'll need it.